Friday, October 29, 2010

The Ten Commandments - Improved and Updated Socialist Version

1. Thou shalt have no other god beside the great god Equality.

2. Thou shalt not make an idol out of the bourgeois, suburban lifestyle and bow down to it in such a way as to serve it rather than the cause of social justice. For I, the Lord your God am a jealous God visiting iniquity on the upper class, yea shall my wrath reach even down into the middle class, although I show steadfast love unto the working class and especially to the union bosses thereof.

3. Thou shalt not take the name of Karl Marx in vain, although it is permitted to utter curses on the name of Lenin, Stalin and Mao, yet only when in the presence of easily spooked fellow-travelers and useful idiots and not when among party faithful only.

4. Remember Labor Day to keep it holy but do not worry about working on Sunday if the Union negotiates time and a half.

5. Honor your fellow socialists in the party but don't worry about the old man and old woman for verily the family is a bourgeois institution that is passing away.

6. Thou shalt not commit murder except when absolutely necessary for the good of the cause.

7. Thou shalt commit adultery, although you must call it "engaging in alternative lifestyles" for lo, the traditional family is a structure of oppression. In other words, "Smash Monogamy!"

8. Thous shalt not steal - confiscatory taxation must be duly legalized by the democratic process even if ballot boxes must be stuffed to do so.

9. Thou shalt not lie except when justifiable in terms of how it benefits the cause of Social Justice.

10. Thou shalt covet and teach the working man to do so as well for is this not the engine of the Revolution?

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