Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Polyamory: The Next Frontier

Polyamory is defined by the Polyamory Society website as follows:

"Polyamory is the nonpossessive, honest, responsible and ethical philosophy and practice of loving multiple people simultanously. Polyamory emphasizes consciously choosing how many partners one wishes to be involved with rather than accepting social norms which dictate loving only one person at a time. Polyamory is an umbrella term which integrates traditional mutipartner relationship terms with more evolved egalitarian terms. Polyamory embraces sexual equality and all sexual orientations towards an expanded circle of spousal intimacy and love. Polyamory is from the root words Poly meaning many and Amour meaning love hence "many loves" or Polyamory. Of course, love itself is a rather ambiguous term, but most polys seem to define it as a serious, intimate, romantic, or less stable, affectionate bond which a person has with another person or group of persons. This bond usually, though not necessarily always, involves sex. Sexualove or eromance are other words which have been coined to describe this kind of love. Other terms often used as synonyms for polyamory are responsible, ethical or intentional non-monogamy."

Legal recognition of polyamorous "marriage" is what comes after same sex "marriage." Forget Morman or Muslim polygamy. Those are conservative institutions compared to triads and quartets of various mixes of genders. The logic is clear: a society that cannot say no to same sex "marriage" cannot logically say no to polyamorous marriage. Of course, a society can illogically say no as long as certain conditions exist. But these conditions will not be in place for long.

What is needed to change the law to include legalized polyamorous "marriage" are three critical factors, as we learned from the campaign to legalize same sex "marriage."

1. A group representing the polyamory "community" needs to band together and become vocal about their rights.

2. The natural resistance to novel approaches to such sexual behaviour needs to be broken down by media examples of "responsible polyamorous relationships" so that such behaviour can be normalized in the minds of the public. A few psychologists and doctors giving interviews to magazines and newspapers about how "normal" and "loving" polyamory is comes next. Then we have the process of public figures coming "out" and admitting that they live in such relationships. Stories about how "natural" polyamory is based on stories from the animal kingdom will seek to establish a "scientific" basis for the practice.

3. Then claims to victim status and the charge of discrimination against those who unreasonably favor monogamy comes next. Simultaneously, the evils of monogamy -the hypocrisy, how it doesn't "work" etc. - are shouted from the rooftops. Finally, only conservatives are said to favor monogamy and all right-thinking, progressive people are seen as open-minded about alternative living arrangements.

So how far have we come? Condition number 1 is in place. See the website referenced above. Condition number 2 is just beginning. Don't expect condition 3 to be emphasized before number 2 is well-advanced because these things have to be done in stages or a backlash is likely. But it does not requre a prophet to see the next frontier in the destruction of the traditional family and the construction of a society based on alternatives to it.

1 comment:

FreeXenon said...

Essentially, you are correct. Pretty much every single argument that can be used in favor of Gay Marriage can be used for Polyamory as well. Poly is a wonderful thing.

What is the issue that you religious conservatives have with open and honest relationships? You seem to patently abhor them, which I find rather quizzical. I know it is not what is standard here in America, which is a great reason why our Divorce Rate is so high - repression. =(

I write a lot more in favor of Gay Marriage on by Blog:

A civil rights violation is still a civil rights violation even if it offends your religious sensibilities.

There is a separation of church and state here and believe it or not, but everyone in the US is not of the Conservative Christian persuasion. =)

Gay Rights and Poly rights will come to pass, hopefully sooner than later.

I challenge you to actually educate yourself on the Polyamory topic and think about it more. I write an intro with references here in this Google Knol Article: