The Parable of the Pharisee and the Republican

As my mind tossed over and over the sad and sordid saga of how a certain Evangelical school recently failed the basic test of Middle Eastern hospitality toward a certain former high office holder by apparently yanking his breakfast at the last moment and the implications thereof for our little community, and seeking to discern the inscrutable ways of Providence, I instinctively reached for the paraphrase of Scripture that was not composed by Eugene Peterson, the one that I so often find comforting during such travails of the soul and read as follows.

The Parable of the Pharisee and the Republican

Luke 18:9-14

(Unrevised Politically Incorrect Version)

[9] He told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt. [10] Two men, er . . . that is, two non-gender specific persons, went up into the temple to pray, one a pharisee and the other a republican.[1] [11] The Pharisee standing by himself, prayed thus: God I thank you that I am not like other non-gender specific persons: Southern-dwelling, Bible-thumping, gun-toting, flag-waving, Republican-voting, war-mongering toothless hillbillies and bitter clingers. [12] I recycle twice in the week; I write countless letters asking the government to raise taxes and increase universal entitlement programs. [13] But the republican, standing far off, would not even lift his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God be merciful to me a sinner!’ [14] I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.

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[1] Some versions say “Tax Collector” but this is clearly an impossible reading. I mean - a Republican collecting taxes? Really now!